Is your teen seem more irritable or withdrawn than usual? Do they not seem as motivated or connected with their friends as they once did? Do you worry that they seem overly concerned with what others think of them? Do you suspect that they are using unhealthy ways to manage their feelings?

Most of us remember our teenage years as a combination of great fun, burgeoning freedom, and a tremendous amount of stress. Skyrocketing and changing hormones definitely don't make it any easier. Add on the need to do well in school - all while trying to navigate adult-like relationships and social environments. Mental health and overall well-being can definitely take a hit.

Common Life Challenges Among Teens

Teens can often face some serious life challenges that impact their mental health and well-being.

• Loss - Loss can come in the form of a death of a loved one, including a pet, and it can also come in the form of parental separation or divorce. A loss also happens when a family moves to a new location and the teen must go to a new school. Loss also includes a break up of a romantic partner or a friendship.
• Stress and anxiety - A little stress is normal in life and can even be motivating. But too much stress can cause burnout at any age. Excessive worry can be debilitating. Many teens face tremendous amounts of pressure to meet the expectations of their family, hold down a job, and be accepted by their peers.
• Depression - Sometimes it is easy to see the signs of someone experiencing depression. Lack of motivation, hopelessness, poor sleep, changes in appetite, irritability, change in personal interests. Our therapists are trained in recognizing the more nuanced signs as well, and can help your child. *As we are a virtual therapy team, we may refer actively suicidal clients to in-person services
• Violence - Teens that are bullied at school or at home suffer, and are often alone. If not dealt with, the aftermath of violence can result in PTSD symptoms. Though it is difficult to talk about, teens can also be victims of assault. Having a safe place to discuss this is an important piece of the healing process.

This is not an exhaustive list of reasons why a teen may want to speak with a therapist by any means. If you think your teen could benefit from therapy, please reach out to me.

What Do We Focus on With Teens?

There are some general focuses in individual therapy for teens:

Connection of Thoughts and Feelings

In these private, one-on-one sessions, a therapist will use research based methods to help the teen make a connection between their thoughts and feelings, as well as understand how these impact their behavior.

Validation

Therapy is always a space to feel heard and understood. As a parent, it is sometimes difficult to hold a completely neutral unbiased space for our children. A therapist can provide this.

Perspective

Similar to validation, therapy is also a place to hear unbiased perspective. As the frontal lobe of the brain develops, teens start to slowly gain the ability to hear multiple sides to a story. A therapist can provide these perspectives in a non-judgmental way.

Processing

The meat and potatoes of therapy is often focused on understanding the way our experiences influence the way we think and operate in the world. A therapist that is experienced in working with teens can navigate this while also understanding that this young person is often experiencing these things in real time, and for the first time.

Regulation Tools

As adults, we have already done the work of figuring out how to "calm down". Teens are fighting against hormones and again learning for the first time in an adult body what works for them. We will discuss techniques and practice during sessions to increase access to the ability to independently regulate.

For Parents

After reading this, you might realize therapy could be helpful for you too! As our children grow into young adults, there is a change in your role in their life. They are learning to set boundaries with you and making decisions for themselves for the first time. When our teen children go through difficult times, it can take a toll on us as parents as well. Please do not hesitate to reach out if you find yourself overwhelmed or just wanting a place to feel heard on your journey.