Power of the Mind
Our brains are, in a word, incredible.
Therapy is really just us using our brains to change our own brain (thoughts and behaviors), with someone who has training in the best ways to do so. In session with my clients, we talk talk about the way we speak about ourselves, and how this affects our beliefs about ourselves. The stories we tell, so to speak.
We can challenge the negative or anxious thoughts that come up by using different language (acting ‘chaotic’ rather than ‘crazy’), self-compassion (I wonder if I’m feeling trapped, so I am more reactive), or straight up saying or thinking the opposite thing (this is hard but I can handle it) - just to try it on for size. This is the root basis for cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. This is such a specific practice so I won’t put a bunch of examples here for you to figure out which is the right one for you. There is always context to your situation and history that influence how to challenge your particular thoughts.
Social media has us in a choke hold of generic information and responses.
So much so that we are seeing people using AI chats to get help with their relationships and an influx of self-diagnosis based on those reels titled “You are an ADHD girlie if you…”
Don’t get me wrong, there is so much power in easily accessible information and a space where people can share and connect based on their identities and experiences.
It’s just what our brain does with that information and newfound identity that can be damaging when we process in isolation.
When I have clients come in using new terminology or catch phrases, I love the opportunity it offers for discussion. Where did you hear/see/read that? What’s your understanding of that? How did this make you feel more (or less) empowered? Did it offer a helpful perspective or challenge something you believed to be true?
Sometimes we find in discussing it further that my client does not in fact have “limerence”, but is still processing the trauma experienced at the hand of their abuser. That their relationship isn’t “toxic” or full of “red flags”, but that their partner is another individual with needs and exists outside of my client (Don’t get me started on “if they wanted to they would”). That maybe actually yes, they do have ADHD and they have just been over-functioning for years and now can experience some relief in understanding their experience better! Or actually yes, that post about narcissism that they are feeling indignant about might have hit on some parts of themselves that are acting narcissistic and it’s time to accept that and make changes.
Our brains have the power to make real change, but you don’t exist in a vacuum. Step out of the darkness of the echo chamber and into the light of interpersonal connection! Dialogue about what you’ve read with friends, family, and perhaps a professional and you will likely get way more out of your social media scrolling. Using critical thinking to take in new information and consider if and how we integrate that into our understanding of our functioning and identity is an amazing skill our brains have, so use it!
